


let's fall in love for the night

by lixsunrise



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Autumn, Drunk Kim Seungmin, Drunken Kissing, Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin are Best Friends, I suck at tags ok, M/M, Neck Kissing, Possibly Unrequited Love, but hyunjin likes him, seunglix are exes, temporary healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 02:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30099039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lixsunrise/pseuds/lixsunrise
Summary: "Love me even if it is to fill the spacesLove me, even if I know it's just to feel alive for a while then you're goneJust to fill the spaces in his arms"- Spaces, Martti Franca-Hwang Hyunjin had always prided himself in his immense self-control. But whenever Seungmin was around, he felt all this disappear and melt into a puddle. He wanted Seungmin to be happy all the time, even if it meant at the expense of his own joy. So when Seungmin calls him while crying one eventful evening, Hyunjin knew he had to be the one to make Seungmin feel okay, even if it was only temporary.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	let's fall in love for the night

**Author's Note:**

> i have come back from a very long hiatus (aka abandoning my skzitzy series, but i'll get back to that sometime!) and will now serve this very poorly written quite short seungjin oneshot, inspired by the songs "let's fall in love for the night" by finneas and "spaces" by martti franca. i had this one the drafts for two months too LMAOSHSKHDJ but here it is, posted and ready to be scrutinized by the rest of the stay au readers community. 
> 
> any form of support, such as kudos or comments will be appreciated! these never fail to make my day <3
> 
> twt - @miragechns

It was a chilly autumn night in October. The weather was almost perfect—the breeze was nice and cool, the leaves from trees falling in a sentimental descent, the air making subtle ripples appear on the river.

It was during this time of the year that couples flocked into the river bank to spend time together, having impromptu picnics underneath the stars, singing merry songs of love and affection, kissing and cuddling their significant others as if no other person in the world can see them. 

Overlooking the scenery from his apartment window, Hwang Hyunjin let out a huge sigh. It had been ages since he last had someone take him to the festivities down below, though that didn’t matter anyway, as he had soon realized that the specific relationship he was in at that time wasn’t going to last. 

Hwang Hyunjin has dated aplenty—but none of them had the spark, the fire, and the factor he was looking for. Call him a hopeless romantic, or a budding idealist, but he has always had a set of factors embossed on his brain—which, unfortunately, are the traits and qualities of a specific person who’s least likely to return his feelings.

Hwang Hyunjin liked Kim Seungmin. A whole damn lot. He liked his sparkly eyes whenever he talked about his interests, he adored his enthusiasm that made him look like an adorable puppy, he longed to hold his dainty hands that seemed warm and soft, he longs to be lulled by his soft, honey-like voice to sleep. He especially liked Seungmin when he was debating with someone—there was just something about the fiery passion in his voice whenever he brings up an argument to his cause. He found it cute, and insanely attractive. It might sound childish, but every little thing Seungmin does makes his heart flutter. 

Unfortunately for Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin likes someone else. 

It’s silly, Hyunjin knows he has no rights to dictate his friend’s feelings. That doesn’t make it hurt any less though, having to endure the person you like go on and on about liking someone else that isn’t you. But for those pretty eye sparkles, Hyunjin endured it all. He was eager to withstand the pain, if it meant seeing those eyes tinkle with happiness forever.

Tonight, Hwang Hyunjin was heading out. His roommate, Han Jisung, decided to let his own boyfriend to stay the night, which meant Hyunjin had to find shelter elsewhere, or he’d have to endure third-wheeling to an incredibly clingy couple. 

“Lock the door before you leave!” prompts Jisung. “Take care, okay?”

Hyunjin nods as he grabs his coat on the stand. “Yeah, definitely. Have fun with Minho hyung.”

Jisung winks at Hyunjin knowingly. He closes the door in earnest, knowing that his roommate was just waiting for him to politely make his exit before he and his boyfriend start doing less-than-appropriate things in the living room couch. He decided to head to the subway after putting on his earphones and putting his favorite playlist on shuffle. 

The cold air whipped his face as he neared the station. It felt refreshing, especially since his shuffle played a chill R&B song while he was walking. When he turned to descend down the stairs, however, his phone suddenly rang. 

His eyes widened when he saw “SEUNGMINNIE” flashing across the screen, and it took him less than a millisecond to answer the call. It took Seungmin a few moments before he spoke. 

“H-Hyunjin,” he said weakly while hiccupping. “C-Can you accompany me for the n-night?”

He sounded like he was in the middle of crying his eyes out, which incredibly baffled Hyunjin. What had happened that made Seungmin feel like this? 

As if on cue, Seungmin adds, “Felix just b-broke up with m-me. He said I was being too c-clingy, but I w-was just trying my best t-to make him h-happy, but I g-guess that was too m-much for him...”

Hyunjin’s heart shattered. The pain he heard on Seungmin’s voice was more than enough to make him want to run to Seungmin’s apartment and hold him close. He wanted to comfort him throughout this time. He wants to be the person beside Seungmin, cuddling him and ruffling his perfectly soft hair, smelling his scent as they kiss each other to pass the night away—

_No, I shouldn’t be thinking like this_ , Hyunjin said to himself firmly. That was a jerk move. He shouldn’t take advantage of Seungmin’s vulnerability for his own pleasure—there will be perhaps a better opportunity in the future. He hopes for it to be a reality.

He boarded the train heading to the station that stops at Seungmin’s apartment complex. He arrives in fifteen minutes, the additional elapsed time due to the fact that he stopped at a pizza place to grab a box. He knew pizza had always cheered Seungmin up; it was knowledge he gained from having to be with him as he lost his final mock trial before college. 

Hyunjin knocks silently on the door to announce his arrival. He knew Seungmin wouldn't want him barging in and seeing him in such a state—Seungmin hated being perceived as pathetic. Hyunjin didn't think it was even a little bit pathetic to cry over overwhelming emotions as he does that often too, but to Seungmin, it especially felt like an extremely vulnerable time and he does everything in his capabilities to avoid feeling that way. 

Unfortunately, his unwillingness to compromise was the ultimate cause of his downfall. 

It took around five minutes for Hyunjin to hear muted sniffling from the door, and he knew Seungmin must've already felt guilty leaving Hyunjin outside (which he didn't mind; the floor was starting to feel comfortable) and already did everything he can to cover up his sorry state. 

The door clicks open and Hyunjin was greeted by a red-eyed Seungmin, now tear-and-snot free. It was very obvious he was crying his eyes out earlier, as Hyunjin notices his puffy eyes and red nose. Seungmin greets him with a tight, bone-crushing hug, and after a few moments, Hyunjin felt Seungmin silently sobbing into his shoulder. He patted his back in an attempt of comforting him, but after two pats, Seungmin breaks away from their hug and starts walking inside. 

Hyunjin stepped inside Seungmin's comfortable abode, which was painted a delicate cream with spruce wood trimmings. There also was a large window overlooking the Seoul skyline, which was brilliantly shining with the lights from the buildings and the cars. It was warm and comfortable, a feeling Hyunjin wanted Seungmin to feel with his presence. 

"I'm sorry I made you come on such short notice," said Seungmin apologetically. "And crying like a bitch too!" He ends with a nervous giggle. 

"It's not a big deal, Min, don't worry," consoled Hyunjin. "I was heading out, anyway. Jisung invited Minho hyung over and basically kicked me out."

"Wouldn't want to third wheel them, right?" asked Seungmin, and Hyunjin nodded in response. 

"I brought pizza, by the way, your favorite," said Hyunjin, lifting up the box so that Seungmin could see, and he could see his eyes light up in delight. "We can watch a stupid romcom, or a show to pass the night. We'll do everything to make you feel better, okay? I'm here for you."

Seungmin looked at Hyunjin fondly. "I don't deserve you at all. You're the bestest friend anyone could ask for."

_It wouldn't be anything more than that, though,_ thought Hyunjin. _I won't be anything else to you other than a friend._

Hyunjin shakes these thoughts away as he asked, "What do you want to watch?"

"A friend recently recommended me Bridgerton," replied Seungmin. "Maybe that would be good."

"Uh-oh, I already finished watching all of it," said Hyunjin. "I might unintentionally give you spoilers. Pretty racy show too, by the way."

Seungmin chuckled, and Hyunjin spotted a glimmer of happiness shine across his eyes, and he felt an immeasurable amount of joy. It suddenly crossed Hyunjin's mind that he was indeed very willing to do everything just for Seungmin's sake. It sounded stupid in hindsight, but love really changes a person to be selfless and willing to give up many things for their sake.

Even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness, Hyunjin wanted to do everything in his power to make Seungmin feel okay, even temporarily. After all, temporary is the start of permanent, and he didn't care whether the future of a happy Seungmin involved a happy Hyunjin by his side. All that mattered was Seungmin. 

"Are you okay? You suddenly spaced out," asked Seungmin, snapping Hyunjin out of his reverie." I heated the pizza slices in the microwave and made popcorn as well."

Hyunjin nodded in appreciation, and he headed over to the kitchen to prepare coffee for him and Seungmin to drink later. 

After a few minutes, the food was finally ready, and Hyunjin started up the television to watch Bridgerton. The first few minutes was met with an incredibly racy scene, which caused Seungmin to roll his eyes. 

"Is this even necessary?" bemused Seungmin, talking over the sound of the two characters grunting out sounds of pleasure through the screen. It was over in a few seconds, and Hyunjin responded (after being overcome by a fit of giggles) that it was "an introduction for the second season."

A comfortable silence suddenly fell between the two as they started watching the show in silence. Aside from the occasional "British nobility are stupid and horny" remark from Seungmin, it was uneventful, which caused Hyunjin to drift once again into his thoughts of Seungmin. He desperately wanted to cuddle with him then and there, the television playing be damned as the two of them were too preoccupied in their business to even look at it with second thought. He was also given an excuse to admire his pleasant features, which were very familiar and homely. To Hyunjin, Seungmin felt like home. 

"Did you even watch the show?" asked Seungmin as the fourth episode credits roll on the screen. "You've been spacing out on me nonstop. Is something bothering you?"

Hyunjin wanted to answer the whole truth, that he was too busy thinking of Seungmin, and everything that they could be doing instead of watching a stupid show. But it was something beyond logical sense, knowing that Seungmin was heartbroken over someone else, so Hyunjin relented and instead said a lie.

"Nothing much, really. Just my ex." 

Seungmin immediately shut off the television and pulled Hyunjin to his unit's balcony, where there were a wooden table and chairs propped up, as well as three bottles of beer sitting promptly on the table. The air was blowing coolly, and the stars overhead were twinkling along with the lights of the city. 

"It's beautiful, right? This view is the reason why I bought this unit," said Seungmin while pouring Hyunjin a glass of beer. "Figured the show was boring you, so we'll just sit here talking about our feelings."

Hyunjin gratefully accepts the glass and downs the drink in one go. Seungmin does the same. 

"It was just plain awful," started Seungmin. "I don't understand why it all happened. I loved him. He loved me. We were perfect."

Hyunjin had briefly forgotten this night was not him and Seungmin having their first-ever date. 

Not waiting for a response, Seungmin drunk two shots of beer and continued talking. "Why did it have to happen today too. I had the perfect date idea. Today was supposed to be happy, but now we're here, drinking beer until we get wasted just to forget."

Seungmin downed another shot. Hyunjin knew he had to stay sober so he relented drinking and instead watched Seungmin let out his pent-up frustrations, and with each statement, Hyunjin only felt the urge to heal Seungmin for the night grow. It was now taking all of his willpower to think logically and refrain from doing something that will only ruin his and Seungmin's good relationship. 

"I j–just feel s–so...not enough," said Seungmin, now sobbing incoherently as he finished an entire bottle of beer alone. "Maybe I–I am, maybe I'm just n–nothing but a bother—"

"Don't say that," said Hyunjin sternly. "You're worth it. Everything about you is worth it."

"T–Then why did h–he leave, then?" replied Seungmin angrily, while still sobbing. He drunk another shot, which forced Hyunjin to hide the remaining two bottles—it was evident that Seungmin already lost his usually present sense of mind. "W–Why did you h–hide the beer, motherfucker?"

"You've drunk enough, Min, please," said Hyunjin calmly, his own stream of tears starting to flow. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to work out? It's definitely okay to feel like shit right now, but everything works out in the end, yeah? Trust me."

Seungmin finally calms down and stops sobbing. "I guess y–you're right," he replied and sunk down the chair in defeat. 

Hyunjin felt his nerves dissipate as he looks at Seungmin, breathing heavily, but had already stopped crying. It was an improvement, but now he really needed to get Seungmin to bed. It was late, around 2 am, and he knew Seungmin already needed to rest. 

"Wait Seungmin, I'll be right back. I'll get you a glass of water."

He felt extremely sick and angry, seeing Seungmin lose all sense of self-control just because of some jerk. Hyunjin didn't know who Felix was, but he was sure he had to be some sort of humongous dumbass to even let go of the love Seungmin had for him, the type of love Hyunjin wanted for himself. 

_Why am I thinking of myself again?_ Hyunjin shook the thoughts off his head. It was wrong. All so wrong. _God, Hyunjin, get a grip. He's suffering. Your personal agenda shouldn't even be in the picture._

He returns outside, where he spots Seungmin staring at the stars, humming to himself while having a lopsided grin plastered on his face, his eyes glimmering with tears. 

"I would have given him all the stars in the world," muttered Seungmin absentmindedly after he empties the glass in one gulp. "His freckles reminded me of them, you know? They're like his personal imprint of the galaxy etched in his face. God, he was so beautiful."

Hyunjin can only manage to utter a quick "yeah" as he listened to Seungmin go on and on about Felix, how they spent the majority of their days together, how he admired everything about him, from his cute button nose to his tenderly placed freckles, and how kissing him felt like honey and cotton candy all in one. It pained Hyunjin, how he was still hearing Seungmin describe Felix so fondly, instead of himself. It didn't make sense too. Why was he still talking about Felix like everything would be okay tomorrow? They broke up. It was over. 

"...and that time when we went to Sydney together briefly to meet his sister, it was so fun, his family was so sweet, and we spent a day in the beach—"

Hyunjin covers Seungmin's mouth with his hand and said, with tears in his eyes, "Can we not talk about him for today? He's left you, Seungmin! Can't you see that? Tomorrow won't be any better, he's still gone!"

Seungmin was stunned. "Why are you shouting at me?" 

"Because I can't bear hearing you talk about him, especially after he broke your heart!" shouted Hyunjin angrily. "It was always Felix this, Felix that—what about me? I've been with you longer than him. I know you better than him. I care about you more than him."

"A–Are you saying that—"

"Yes, Seungmin, you _FINALLY_ got it!" yelled Hyunjin. "I like you! I like you so _fucking_ much I feel so stupid because you obviously don't see me the same way!"

Seungmin approached Hyunjin silently, and he was half-expecting him to slap him in the face and kick him out of the house, but what he did instead incredibly startled Hyunjin. 

Kim Seungmin looked at him squarely in the eye and said, "Prove it to me. Prove that you like me, Hyunjin. Kiss me."

Hyunjin from the past would've kicked him in the gut and called him a stupid bitch if he knew what present Hyunjin was up to. Maybe it was the subtle alcohol flowing through his veins, disabling his ability to think straight, or maybe it was Seungmin's plump lips, his beautiful brown eyes gleaming with need that intoxicated Hyunjin and caused him to lose every bit of self-control he had in his system. 

Hwang Hyunjin had finally kissed Kim Seungmin. It wasn't the perfect, sweet kiss he envisioned them doing in the ferris wheel in the fair back in their last year of middle school when Hyunjin finally admitted to himself that he liked Seungmin. Instead, it was a kiss out of nothing but lust and need, not even a bit of the romance Hyunjin had always fantasized of present. But it was better than nothing, right? He was finally kissing the love of his life, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere else! He might regret all of this later, but all he thought of was how good it felt. 

Seungmin broke off the kiss for a moment and led Hyunjin into his room, which was dimly lit and clean. It smelled heavily of fabric conditioner, the sort that was actually pleasant smelling, and a jasmine incense candle burning happily in the corner. It had dawned on Hyunjin that Seungmin must've prepared the candles and the clean sheets for Felix, and not him. 

That was when he realized kissing Seungmin was so wrong. It doesn't matter how good that kiss made him feel, it doesn't matter if his body was urging him to go on. It was wrong, downright wrong. He had to put this to an end. 

"Aren't you joining me here?" asked Seungmin silently, sitting on the bed idly. "I still need you, Hyunjin."

"This is wrong, Seungmin. You're not in the best state of mind. Can we please rest, and forget any of this happened?"

"I don't want to," replied Seungmin stubbornly. "I just—feel so empty and dead. Can you keep me company? Just so I could...forget."

Hyunjin wanted to shout at Seungmin: he was being so illogical and reckless. Not to mention he was intoxicated, and all this was unfair to Hyunjin! He had real feelings for Seungmin, and he doubts he can still keep being friends with Hyunjin after all this when he realizes Hyunjin had taken advantage of his drunken state. He doesn't want to lose Seungmin as a friend. 

But the heat of the moment was too much. He looked at Seungmin again, whose eyes had started to glisten again with tears. It was too much, but Hyunjin was determined. He was just about to walk out of the room until Seungmin said something that finally washed his brain out of all things logical. 

"Please heal me for the night, Hyunjin. I need you."

Hyunjin went back to the bed and knocked Seungmin over as he pressed his lips firmly against his again, this time faster and more desperate. He inevitably tastes the beer that Seungmin drunk earlier, as well as a hint of cherry—he must've put on chapstick. Another thing that wasn't for him. 

But as soon as Seungmin ruffles his hair, his logical side was once again suppressed. He presses Seungmin's back daintily, not breaking off the kiss. He was surprisingly a good kisser, something Hyunjin would've never associated with Seungmin, as he had always been studious and seemed uninterested in love. But he figured Felix taught him all this. Felix, again. 

Hyunjin gets kicked back to reality as he feels Seungmin's lip vibrate as he lets out a tiny noise—Hyunjin must've hit a particular pleasure point. One that Felix must have kissed all the time, to make Seungmin keel over in desire. 

Seungmin breaks off from the kiss, and Hyunjin felt momentarily empty—that is until he started kissing his neck and leaving small bites all throughout. It wasn't something Hyunjin particularly enjoyed, but of course, he knew that Felix must've liked it whenever Seungmin did that. That was why Seungmin was doing it. 

None of this was still for him—this was still all Felix, with Seungmin wanting to ease the pain. He wanted to push Seungmin away, finally, to end this stupid misery. It was so dumb of him to even proceed in the first place, he was the sober person! He knew Seungmin was drunk and miserable, and yet he still wanted to do this! Hell, he was the one to kiss Seungmin earlier! He was so stupid! If he had held his ground earlier, surely this shouldn't have escalated into something like this. 

"Seungmin," muttered Hyunjin silently. "I'm tired. Can we stop now?"

Seungmin stops kissing his neck and looked up at him carefully. "Of course. I'm quite sleepy too."

Seungmin stared at Hyunjin with a playful grin, and Hyunjin's heart melted. If this was a way to help him heal, no matter how much it hurt, seeing Seungmin smile made it all go away. It took him a whole lot of effort to not kiss back as Seungmin presses his lips to him firmly, for the last time. He thought everything was going to be okay. He thought finally Seungmin saw him for who he was, as someone who was always there for him, but all that fantasy crumbled like dust blew by air as Seungmin sweetly mutters "Goodnight, Lix", before drifting to sleep. 

Hyunjin knew Seungmin would forget all of this in the morning. Hell, he would probably start crying again, every effort Hyunjin put in reset. But just seeing him now, sleeping soundly with a genuine smile on his face, made Hyunjin feel somehow less bad. _At least temporary worked_ , he thought silently. He was willing to give temporary another chance, if Seungmin allows him to.

This was probably the dumbest thing Hyunjin had ever thought of in his entire life, but he was fine with being a temporary source of happiness. He doesn't even care about his own feelings at this point. Seungmin can tell him every thing he admired about Felix while they're kissing—he'd be as stupid as he can, just for Seungmin to feel okay again. Even if it hurted and hurted his own heart, silently shattering through every remark.

And for the last time, he presses a tender kiss on Seungmin's forehead and bids him goodnight before leaving the room in earnest.


End file.
